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Coercive Control Is Not “High Conflict”: How Legal Technology Could Help Victims Build Watertight Evidence

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Coercive control is one of the most misunderstood forms of domestic abuse in the family justice system. Too often, victims and protective parents are expected to prove a pattern of fear, domination, surveillance, financial pressure, emotional abuse and post-separation control through tools designed for isolated incidents. The result is predictable: the pattern is fragmented, the abuse is minimised, and the protective parent is too often labelled “high conflict”. But coercive control has structure. It leaves traces. It can be evidenced. And with careful, ethical use of legal technology, litigants in person may finally have a better way to organise the truth.

JSH Law | Family Court, Domestic Abuse & Legal Technology

Coercive Control Is Not “High Conflict”: How Technology Could Help Victims Build the Evidence the System Keeps Missing

For too long, coercive and controlling behaviour has been misunderstood, minimised, fragmented, and dismissed — particularly in private law children proceedings where one parent is trying to prove a pattern of abuse while the other presents the case as “just conflict”.

That has to change.

Coercive control is not a bad argument. It is not ordinary relationship breakdown. It is not two difficult people failing to co-parent. It is a pattern of domination, fear, isolation, degradation, surveillance, financial pressure, emotional manipulation, litigation abuse, threats, intimidation and control.

And patterns can be proved.

The question is whether victims — especially litigants in person — are being given the tools to prove them properly.

The central problem

The family court often asks victims to present coercive control through tools designed for isolated incidents. That is a structural problem.

A Scott Schedule may ask: “What happened? When? Where? What is your evidence?”

But coercive control often asks a different question:

What was the pattern, how did it escalate, what was the impact, how did it affect the children, and how did the perpetrator use systems, money, communication, parenting arrangements, technology, threats or court proceedings to maintain control?

Why coercive control is so hard to prove

Coercive control cases rarely arrive neatly packaged. Victims often have years of WhatsApp messages, emails, screenshots, school communications, police logs, medical notes, bank records, social media material, location issues, parenting handover disputes, threatening messages, apparently “polite” controlling emails, and a history of being worn down.

Looked at separately, each incident can be minimised:

  • “It was only a message.”
  • “It was only a disagreement about contact.”
  • “It was only about money.”
  • “It was only one argument.”
  • “There was no physical violence.”
  • “The police took no further action.”
  • “The CPS did not charge.”

That is precisely how coercive control disappears inside the justice system. It is broken into fragments until the pattern is lost.

Technology, used carefully and ethically, could help put that pattern back together.

1: The legislation — what the law actually says

Serious Crime Act 2015, section 76

The criminal offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship is contained in section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015.

In broad terms, the prosecution must prove that:

  • the defendant repeatedly or continuously engaged in behaviour towards another person;
  • the defendant and victim were personally connected at the time;
  • the behaviour had a serious effect on the victim;
  • the defendant knew or ought to have known that the behaviour would have a serious effect.

Domestic Abuse Act 2021

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 created a statutory definition of domestic abuse which includes:

  • physical or sexual abuse;
  • violent or threatening behaviour;
  • controlling or coercive behaviour;
  • economic abuse;
  • psychological, emotional or other abuse.

Post-separation abuse

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 also amended the controlling or coercive behaviour offence so that, from 5 April 2023, it can apply to partners, ex-partners and family members even where they no longer live together. The updated Home Office statutory guidance explains this important change in the Controlling or Coercive Behaviour Statutory Guidance Framework.

Maximum sentence

The CPS confirms that the offence can be tried in the magistrates’ court or Crown Court and carries a maximum penalty of five years’ imprisonment. See the CPS prosecution guidance on controlling or coercive behaviour.

The uncomfortable truth: low charge rates are being weaponised in family court

One of the most damaging arguments victims face in private law children proceedings is this:

“If it was really abuse, the police would have charged him.”

That argument is wrong.

A decision by police or CPS not to charge does not mean abuse did not happen. It may mean the evidential test was not met at that stage. It may mean the evidence was not gathered properly. It may mean the victim could not safely support a prosecution. It may mean the case was misunderstood as incidents rather than a course of conduct.

The Office for National Statistics recorded 49,557 offences of coercive control in England and Wales in the year ending March 2025. Yet Women’s Aid, relying on ONS criminal justice data, reports that in the year ending December 2024 there were 1,299 defendant proceedings and 853 offenders convicted of controlling or coercive behaviour. See Women’s Aid: Coercive Control.

That gap matters. It shows why family courts must be very careful before treating “no charge” or “no conviction” as proof that the alleged abuse was false or irrelevant.

2: The statistics — the justice gap in coercive control cases

  • 49,557 offences of coercive control were recorded by police in England and Wales in the year ending March 2025, according to the ONS.
  • 45,310 offences were recorded in the year ending March 2024, showing an increase in recorded coercive control offences.
  • 1,299 defendant proceedings for controlling or coercive behaviour were reported for the year ending December 2024 by Women’s Aid, citing ONS data.
  • 853 offenders were convicted of controlling or coercive behaviour in the year ending December 2024, according to the same Women’s Aid summary.
  • The CPS has reported year-on-year increases in charges and said that almost 5,000 coercive control offences were charged last year. See the CPS update: Rise in coercive control charges marks a decade of progress.

The point: coercive control is being recorded. It is being reported. It is increasingly being charged. But there remains a major gap between lived experience, police recording, prosecution and conviction.

What does it take to get a conviction for coercive control?

In a criminal case, the prosecution must prove the offence beyond reasonable doubt. That is a high standard. It should be. A criminal conviction can remove liberty, affect employment, trigger safeguarding consequences, and lead to restraining orders or other protective measures.

But the high standard of proof does not mean coercive control is impossible to prove. It means the evidence must be properly built.

The CPS guidance makes clear that prosecutors should look at the pattern, the serious effect on the victim, the relationship context, previous allegations, overlapping offences, and all relevant material. That is where many cases fail before they ever reach trial: the evidential architecture is not properly assembled.

3: What the prosecution needs to prove

1. Repeated or continuous behaviour

The case cannot usually be built on one isolated act. The evidence must show a repeated or continuous course of conduct.

2. Personal connection

The parties must be personally connected under the statutory framework. This can include current partners, former partners, spouses, civil partners, relatives, and people who have or have had parental relationships in relation to the same child.

3. Serious effect

The behaviour must have a serious effect. This may include causing the victim to fear violence on at least two occasions, or causing serious alarm or distress which has a substantial adverse effect on day-to-day activities.

4. Knowledge

The defendant must know, or ought to know, that the behaviour would have a serious effect.

5. Public interest

The CPS must also consider whether prosecution is in the public interest under the Code for Crown Prosecutors.

What does a conviction mean in real terms?

A conviction for controlling or coercive behaviour is serious. It is not a minor label. It is a criminal finding that the offender repeatedly or continuously engaged in abusive behaviour which had a serious effect on the victim.

Depending on the sentence and circumstances, it may result in:

  • a custodial sentence, suspended sentence or community order;
  • a restraining order;
  • probation supervision;
  • MAPPA management in qualifying cases;
  • family court safeguarding consequences;
  • impact on child arrangements;
  • employment and professional consequences;
  • immigration, housing, firearms, DBS or regulatory consequences depending on the facts.

In February 2025, it was reported that offenders serving sentences of at least 12 months for controlling or coercive behaviour would be automatically managed under Multi-Agency Public Protection Arrangements. See The Guardian: Coercive control to be put on par with other types of domestic abuse.

4: Children are not “witnesses” only — they can be victims

This is one of the most important legal developments protective parents need to understand.

Section 3 of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 recognises that a child is a victim of domestic abuse if the child sees, hears or experiences the effects of the abuse and is related to the victim or perpetrator.

The CPS confirmed in 2022 that children affected by domestic abuse should be treated as victims, regardless of whether they were present during violent incidents. See CPS: Children classed as domestic abuse victims under new guidance.

This matters in family court because coercive control is not only about the adult victim. Children may be harmed by:

  • living in fear or tension;
  • being used as messengers;
  • being exposed to threats, shouting, surveillance or humiliation;
  • seeing one parent degraded or controlled;
  • being used as leverage in contact arrangements;
  • being manipulated into rejecting or policing the other parent;
  • having their routines, schooling, healthcare or emotional security disrupted;
  • being directly controlled, monitored or emotionally pressured.

The legal point: where children see, hear or experience the effects of domestic abuse, their welfare analysis must not treat them as bystanders. They may be victims in their own right.

The family court problem: coercive control is still too often mislabelled as “high conflict”

The phrase “high conflict” can be dangerous when used lazily.

High conflict suggests mutuality. It implies two adults locked in reciprocal hostility. But coercive control is not mutual conflict. It is an imbalance of power.

The victim may appear distressed, emotional, disorganised, angry or hypervigilant. The perpetrator may appear calm, articulate and reasonable. That does not make the victim unstable or the perpetrator safe. In some cases, it may be part of the pattern.

The Domestic Abuse Commissioner’s “Everyday Business” report refers back to the Ministry of Justice Harm Panel and the need for a family court response that properly identifies and responds to domestic abuse in private law children proceedings.

The 2026 House of Commons Library briefing on child arrangements and domestic abuse records that it has been estimated that around 60% to 90% of child arrangements cases in the family court feature allegations of domestic abuse.

That should stop everyone in their tracks.

5: Why Scott Schedules can fail coercive control cases

Scott Schedules can be useful where the court needs a concise list of specific allegations. But they can be inadequate where the central allegation is a pattern of control.

A coercive control case needs more than a list of incidents. It needs:

  • a chronological timeline;
  • a pattern analysis;
  • a behaviour map;
  • a child impact section;
  • a post-separation abuse section;
  • a technology abuse section;
  • a financial/economic abuse section;
  • a litigation abuse section;
  • a cross-referenced evidence index;
  • a clear explanation of serious effect.

The court needs to see the architecture of control, not just the bricks.

Where legal technology could be groundbreaking

This is where properly designed legal technology could transform the evidential position for victims and protective parents.

Technology should not be used to invent allegations, exaggerate claims, coach witnesses or replace legal judgment. But it can be used to organise evidence, detect patterns, identify gaps, build chronologies, extract dates, categorise behaviours, cross-reference exhibits, and help litigants in person present their evidence coherently.

That is not a gimmick. That is access to justice.

6: The “watertight case” evidence architecture

A properly prepared coercive control evidence bundle should aim to show:

1. Pattern

What repeated behaviours occurred over time?

2. Escalation

Did the behaviour intensify after separation, after court proceedings, after new relationships, after police involvement, or after boundaries were set?

3. Tactics

Was the alleged perpetrator using money, children, communication, threats, surveillance, immigration status, housing, religion, family networks, professional status, court proceedings or technology to maintain control?

4. Impact

What was the effect on the adult victim’s day-to-day life, mental health, work, parenting, finances, safety, autonomy and decision-making?

5. Child impact

What did the children see, hear or experience? How did the behaviour affect their emotional security, behaviour, schooling, health, contact arrangements or relationship with either parent?

6. Corroboration

What independent material supports the account? Police logs, GP records, school emails, third-party messages, photographs, bank records, social care records, call logs, location data, screenshots, court orders, admissions, apology messages, or patterns in communications?

7. Serious effect

How does the evidence show fear, alarm, distress or a substantial adverse effect on ordinary daily life?

How AI and legal tech can help litigants in person prepare

Most litigants in person do not lose because they have no evidence. Many lose because their evidence is disorganised, overwhelming, mislabelled, emotionally presented, or not linked clearly to the legal test.

AI and legal technology can help by turning chaos into structure.

For example, technology can assist with:

  • extracting dates from messages and documents;
  • building a master chronology;
  • identifying repeated themes such as threats, isolation, financial control, surveillance or child-related manipulation;
  • separating direct evidence from interpretation;
  • linking each allegation to exhibits;
  • identifying missing documents;
  • preparing issue-based evidence indexes;
  • summarising long communication threads;
  • creating court-friendly tables;
  • spotting escalation points;
  • mapping post-separation abuse;
  • preparing focused questions for legal advice or direct access counsel.

7: Technology can help — but it must be used safely

Victims and protective parents should be careful before uploading sensitive evidence into any online tool.

Before using AI or legal tech with domestic abuse evidence, consider:

  • Does the tool store your data?
  • Can you delete your data?
  • Is the material confidential?
  • Are children’s names, addresses, schools or medical details included?
  • Is there a live court order restricting publication or disclosure?
  • Could the other party access your device, cloud account or email?
  • Do you need to redact documents first?
  • Are you accidentally sharing third-party personal data?
  • Are you preserving the original evidence and metadata?

Technology should support safeguarding. It should never create a new risk.

Recent developments show the law is moving — but the evidence problem remains

The last few years have shown increasing legal and public recognition of coercive control.

The CPS updated its guidance on controlling or coercive behaviour in 2025. The updated CPS prosecution guidance specifically addresses evidential considerations, gathering evidence, case building, suspect-centric approaches, charge selection, ancillary orders and what should happen where there is a decision not to charge.

The Home Office statutory guidance recognises that controlling or coercive behaviour may include economic abuse, technology-facilitated abuse, harassment, stalking and other related harms.

The CPS has also recognised the importance of emerging and complex forms of abuse. In 2026, reporting on new CPS guidance highlighted issues including honour-based abuse, dowry abuse, immigration-related exploitation, spiritual abuse and the need to identify emerging patterns of abuse. See The Guardian: CPS issues new guidance on honour-based and dowry abuse.

At the same time, public reporting continues to show how poorly coercive control may be understood by juries, professionals and wider society. See, for example, The Guardian: “But he didn’t hit you, did he?”, which explored the difficulty of presenting coercive control inside a courtroom.

The law is moving. But the evidential method has not caught up quickly enough.

For litigants in person: how to start preparing a coercive control case

If you are a litigant in person trying to show coercive control in family court, do not start by writing a long emotional statement. Start by building the evidence structure.

8: Practical checklist for protective parents and litigants in person

Step 1: Create a master chronology

List events in date order. Keep each entry factual. Include the date, what happened, who was present, evidence available, and impact.

Step 2: Preserve original evidence

Keep original screenshots, messages, emails, photographs, recordings, police references, GP notes and school communications. Do not edit originals.

Step 3: Identify patterns

Use categories such as threats, isolation, financial control, child-related control, surveillance, humiliation, intimidation, litigation abuse, post-separation abuse and third-party manipulation.

Step 4: Record the impact

Do not only record what the other person did. Record how it affected ordinary life: sleep, work, parenting, school runs, money, safety planning, communication, contact handovers and mental health.

Step 5: Separate evidence from opinion

“He is controlling” is a conclusion. “Between 4 January and 9 March he sent 126 messages asking where I was, who I was with, and threatening to stop child maintenance if I did not reply” is evidence.

Step 6: Prepare a child impact section

Record what the children saw, heard or experienced, and how it affected them. Keep this child-focused and welfare-focused.

Step 7: Cross-reference everything

Every allegation should link to an exhibit where possible. The court should not have to hunt for the evidence.

Step 8: Ask for the right procedural directions

In family proceedings, consider whether the court needs to address domestic abuse allegations under Practice Direction 12J, whether a fact-finding hearing is required, and whether special measures or safeguarding directions are needed.

The digital evidence that may matter

Modern coercive control is often digital. It may be hidden in ordinary-looking messages, repeated demands, location monitoring, banking restrictions, online humiliation, password access, device surveillance or the use of parenting apps as a mechanism of control.

Relevant digital evidence may include:

  • WhatsApp messages;
  • SMS messages;
  • emails;
  • call logs;
  • voicemails;
  • social media messages;
  • banking alerts;
  • shared calendar entries;
  • location tracking records;
  • AirTag or device notifications;
  • parenting app communications;
  • school portal communications;
  • photographs of damage or written notes;
  • screenshots of deleted or edited messages where properly preserved;
  • police reference numbers;
  • 999 or 101 call records;
  • GP, counselling or domestic abuse service records.

The key is not volume. The key is relevance, organisation and pattern.

9: The difference between a pile of evidence and a case

A pile of evidence says: “Here are 400 screenshots.”

A prepared case says: “These 400 screenshots show a repeated pattern of surveillance, financial pressure, child-related threats and post-separation intimidation between January 2023 and May 2026. The most important examples are indexed at A1-A18. The serious effect is set out at paragraphs 42-56. The child impact is set out at paragraphs 57-68.”

That is the difference technology can help create.

What family courts need to understand

Family courts must stop treating coercive control as background noise.

If coercive control is proved, it may be directly relevant to:

  • the welfare checklist;
  • risk of harm;
  • the need for a fact-finding hearing;
  • interim contact arrangements;
  • safe handovers;
  • parenting apps and communication boundaries;
  • supervised or supported contact;
  • prohibited steps orders;
  • specific issue orders;
  • non-molestation orders;
  • occupation orders;
  • whether direct contact is safe;
  • whether a parent can prioritise the child’s welfare over control of the other parent.

A parent who controls, intimidates, monitors, threatens, degrades or destabilises the other parent may also be harming the child. The child does not need to be physically assaulted to be affected.

Why this matters for access to justice

Many victims and protective parents cannot afford a full legal team. Legal aid is limited. Direct access counsel can help, but barristers are often brought in late and need properly prepared papers. A barrister cannot magically turn years of disorganised evidence into a coherent case the night before a hearing.

This is why litigation support, document preparation and legal technology matter.

Litigants in person need practical help to:

  • understand the legal framework;
  • identify relevant evidence;
  • prepare chronologies;
  • structure statements;
  • prepare bundles;
  • brief direct access barristers properly;
  • avoid emotional overloading;
  • present child-focused, evidence-based arguments;
  • ask the court for appropriate directions.

The headline point

Coercive control is not too complex to prove.

It is too often presented using tools that are too narrow to reveal it.

Legal technology could help victims and protective parents show the court what the abuse actually is: not a list of isolated incidents, but a system of control.

What should change next?

If the justice system is serious about coercive control, then family courts, police, prosecutors, lawyers, McKenzie Friend services, domestic abuse organisations and legal technologists need to work from the same starting point:

The pattern is the evidence.

That means we need better tools for:

  • pattern-based chronologies;
  • domestic abuse evidence mapping;
  • child impact analysis;
  • post-separation abuse tracking;
  • technology-facilitated abuse identification;
  • safe digital evidence storage;
  • court-ready bundle preparation;
  • direct access barrister briefing;
  • litigant in person guidance.

We do not need technology that replaces legal judgment. We need technology that helps victims preserve, organise and present the truth.

Final word

Coercive control thrives in confusion. It thrives when incidents are separated from context. It thrives when victims are exhausted, disbelieved, priced out, procedurally overwhelmed and told they are “high conflict”.

But coercive control has structure.

It leaves traces.

It creates patterns.

It affects children.

It can be evidenced.

And if the family justice system is going to protect children and victims properly, it must become far better at seeing the whole picture.

Need help preparing a coercive control chronology or family court evidence bundle?

JSH Law supports litigants in person with structured litigation support, court document preparation, chronologies, witness statement preparation, bundle organisation and hearing preparation in private law children proceedings.

We do not replace solicitors or barristers. We help litigants in person get organised, understand the process, and present their evidence clearly.

If you are dealing with coercive control, domestic abuse allegations, safeguarding issues or a complex child arrangements case, early preparation matters.

View our pricing or contact JSH Law to discuss support.

Regulatory & Editorial Notice: JSH Law Ltd provides litigation support and McKenzie Friend services for litigants in person. JSH Law Ltd is not an SRA-regulated law firm and does not conduct reserved legal activities. This article is for general information and public-interest commentary only. It is not legal advice. If you are at immediate risk, call 999. If you are involved in court proceedings or a criminal investigation, seek advice from a suitably qualified legal professional.

Preparing Your Case Like a Barrister: A Practical Guide for Litigants in Person

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Most litigants in person are expected to navigate the family court without the training lawyers take for granted. This article explains how to prepare your case with the structure and discipline of a barrister: identifying the issues, organising the evidence, understanding the welfare framework and making the judge’s job easier.

Preparing Your Case Like a Barrister: A Practical Guide for Litigants in Person

Most litigants in person are never taught how to prepare a case. They are expected to walk into the family court with the same procedural burden as represented parties, but without the training, structure or strategic method that lawyers use every day.

That is one of the quiet injustices of the system.

The family court asks litigants in person to file evidence, comply with directions, prepare position statements, respond to allegations, organise exhibits, understand Cafcass reports, deal with bundles, identify issues, make submissions and explain what orders they seek — often while they are frightened, traumatised, exhausted or trying to protect children.

It is no wonder so many people feel overwhelmed.

This article was inspired by Christian Weaver’s LinkedIn article, How to Prepare a Case: A Barrister’s Guide, published in April 2026. Christian Weaver is a barrister at Garden Court North Chambers, specialising in inquests and public inquiries. His article explains how barristers approach case preparation, from reading the papers to preparing for hearing.

This JSH Law article develops that theme specifically for litigants in person, particularly those involved in family court proceedings.

The central point is simple:

Preparation is not admin. Preparation is advocacy.

Key Takeaways for Litigants in Person
  • Most cases are shaped before anyone walks into court.
  • Judges need structure, not chaos.
  • Your evidence must be linked to the legal issues the court actually has to decide.
  • A long bundle is not the same as a strong case.
  • Your position statement should tell the court what you want, why you want it, and what evidence supports it.
  • Family court preparation must be child-focused, welfare-focused and evidence-based.
  • If domestic abuse or safeguarding is raised, preparation must also address risk, pattern, evidence and protective directions.
  • If you are a litigant in person, you do not need to become a barrister — but you do need to prepare with discipline.

Most People Think the Case Starts at Court. It Does Not.

One of the biggest misunderstandings litigants in person have is the belief that the real work happens on the day of the hearing.

It does not.

By the time you arrive at court, much of the damage — or much of the advantage — has already been created.

Your documents have either helped the judge understand your case, or they have made the judge’s job harder. Your bundle has either shown a clear route through the evidence, or it has buried the important points beneath unnecessary material. Your position statement has either focused the court on the key issues, or it has become another emotional document in an already difficult case.

Barristers understand this. They know that advocacy does not begin when they stand up in court. It begins when they first read the papers.

That is the lesson litigants in person need to take seriously.

The hearing is not where preparation begins. The hearing is where preparation is tested.

The Problem: Litigants in Person Are Often Left to Guess

Most litigants in person are not trying to be difficult. They are overwhelmed.

They are dealing with children, allegations, safeguarding concerns, financial pressure, trauma, separation, fear, anger and often years of history. They may be trying to represent themselves against a solicitor or barrister. They may be trying to explain coercive control, domestic abuse, parental alienation allegations, contact problems, police involvement, Cafcass reports, social services records, school concerns, medical evidence or years of WhatsApp messages.

The result is often the same: too much material, not enough structure.

That is where cases start to unravel.

A litigant in person may think:

  • “If I give the judge everything, they will understand.”
  • “If I explain the full history, the court will see what happened.”
  • “If I attach all the messages, the truth will be obvious.”
  • “If I write from the heart, the judge will understand how serious this is.”

But court does not work like that.

The court needs relevance. The court needs structure. The court needs issues. The court needs evidence. The court needs to know what order you are asking for and why that order is in the child’s welfare interests.

Emotion may explain why the case matters to you. It does not, on its own, prove your case.

What Barristers Do Differently

A barrister does not usually begin by asking, “How do I tell the whole story?”

A barrister begins by asking:

  • What is this case actually about?
  • What does the court have to decide?
  • What is my client asking for?
  • What evidence supports that outcome?
  • What are the weaknesses?
  • What is the other side likely to say?
  • What does the judge need to understand quickly?

That is a completely different mindset.

It is not about dumping information onto the court. It is about building a route through the case.

For litigants in person, that shift is crucial.

The family court does not need every piece of pain. It needs the legally relevant facts, supported by evidence, presented through the correct legal framework.

Step One: Read the Papers Properly

Christian Weaver’s article rightly starts with the importance of reading the papers carefully. That may sound obvious, but in practice it is where many cases go wrong.

Litigants in person often read their papers emotionally. That is understandable. These are not neutral documents. They may contain allegations, painful history, inaccurate statements or serious omissions. The temptation is to react immediately.

But preparation requires discipline.

When you first read the papers, do not start by arguing with every sentence. Start by understanding the shape of the case.

Ask yourself:

  • What applications are currently before the court?
  • What orders have already been made?
  • What directions are outstanding?
  • What evidence has already been filed?
  • What evidence is still missing?
  • What is Cafcass saying?
  • What is the other party’s position?
  • What issues has the court already identified?
  • What is the next hearing actually for?

Before you can argue your case, you need to understand the procedural position.

If you do not know where the case is procedurally, you are already on the back foot.

Step Two: Start with the Court Order

In practical terms, one of the first documents you should read is the most recent court order.

The court order tells you what the court has already decided, what directions have been made, what deadlines apply, what documents are required, who must do what, and what the next hearing is for.

Many litigants in person focus on what they want to say, but miss what the court has actually ordered them to do.

That is dangerous.

Before any hearing, check:

  • the date and time of the next hearing;
  • whether it is remote, hybrid or in person;
  • what the hearing is listed for;
  • whether statements are due;
  • whether a bundle is required;
  • who is responsible for preparing the bundle;
  • whether Cafcass or the local authority must file anything;
  • whether police disclosure has been ordered;
  • whether a position statement is expected;
  • whether there are page limits or filing deadlines;
  • whether special measures have been considered;
  • whether interim contact arrangements are in place.

A missed direction can damage credibility. It can also create costs risk, delay and practical difficulty at the hearing.

Step Three: Identify What the Court Actually Has to Decide

This is one of the most important points in any family court case.

The court is not there to decide every argument that has ever happened between the parents. It is not there to punish one parent for being unreasonable. It is not there to validate every feeling. It is there to make decisions based on the law, the evidence and the child’s welfare.

In private children proceedings, the court may need to decide issues such as:

  • where the child should live;
  • how much time the child should spend with each parent;
  • whether contact should be direct, indirect, supervised or suspended;
  • whether allegations of domestic abuse require findings of fact;
  • whether a section 7 report is required;
  • whether a guardian should be appointed;
  • whether there are safeguarding risks;
  • whether special measures are needed;
  • whether a parent poses a risk of harm;
  • whether the child’s wishes and feelings need further assessment;
  • whether police, medical, school or social care disclosure is needed;
  • whether interim arrangements are safe.

Once you know what the court has to decide, your preparation becomes much clearer.

Every document should then be tested against one question:

Does this help the court decide one of the actual issues?

If the answer is no, it may not belong in your main case material.

Step Four: Understand the Legal Framework

Family court preparation is not just storytelling. It is legal issue-mapping.

In private children cases, the court’s paramount consideration is the welfare of the child under section 1 of the Children Act 1989. The welfare checklist requires the court to consider matters such as the child’s wishes and feelings, needs, the likely effect of change, age, sex, background, harm suffered or risk of harm, and the capability of each parent to meet the child’s needs.

Where domestic abuse is alleged, the court should consider Practice Direction 12J. PD12J is particularly important where allegations of coercive control, post-separation abuse, non-fatal strangulation, harassment, stalking, threats, intimidation or unsafe contact are raised.

The court must also deal with cases justly under the Family Procedure Rules 2010 overriding objective.

For litigants in person, this means your documents should not simply say what happened. They should explain why it matters within the legal framework.

For example:

  • If you say the other parent is unsafe, explain the risk of harm to the child.
  • If you say contact should be supervised, explain why that is necessary and proportionate.
  • If you say police disclosure is needed, explain how it relates to welfare and risk.
  • If you say a fact-finding hearing is required, explain what findings are necessary before safe decisions can be made.

This does not mean writing like a lawyer for the sake of it.

It means helping the judge connect the evidence to the decision the court must make.

Step Five: Stop Confusing Volume with Strength

A common mistake is thinking that more evidence means a stronger case.

It does not.

A 700-page bundle can be weaker than a 70-page bundle if the important evidence is buried. A long statement can be weaker than a short statement if it lacks structure. Fifty screenshots can be less effective than five carefully selected messages that prove the key point.

Judges are busy. They are often dealing with packed lists, difficult cases and limited reading time. That does not mean your case is unimportant. It means your case needs to be presented in a way the court can absorb quickly and fairly.

Your job is not to make the judge hunt for the point.

Your job is to make the point clear.

A long bundle is not a strong case. A clear route through the evidence is a strong case.

Step Six: Build a Case Theory

A case theory is not a dramatic story. It is the central logic of your case.

It should answer three questions:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. What evidence proves or supports the problem?
  3. What order should the court make because of it?

For example, in a family case involving safeguarding concerns, your case theory might be:

The child should remain living with the mother and direct contact should not progress at this stage because the father has not addressed the domestic abuse risks identified in the evidence, including police material, Cafcass concerns and his own communications. The child’s welfare requires a cautious, staged approach, beginning with indirect contact or professionally supervised contact only.

That is clear. It tells the court what the issue is, what evidence matters and what outcome is being sought.

Compare that with:

He has put me through years of abuse and the court never listens and I have hundreds of messages showing what he is like.

That may be emotionally true. It may be deeply important. But it is not yet a structured legal argument.

Step Seven: Create a Chronology That Actually Helps

A good chronology is one of the most powerful tools in litigation.

A poor chronology is just another confusing document.

A useful chronology should be focused, selective and relevant. It should help the court understand the development of the case, not every detail of the relationship.

A strong chronology usually includes:

  • key dates;
  • important incidents;
  • court orders;
  • police involvement;
  • Cafcass involvement;
  • social services involvement;
  • school or medical concerns;
  • important communications;
  • changes in contact arrangements;
  • missed contact or safeguarding incidents;
  • evidence references.

It should not include every argument, every insult, every minor disagreement or every irrelevant historical grievance.

A simple format works best:

Date Event Why It Matters Evidence Reference
[Date] [What happened] [Relevance to welfare / risk / contact / credibility] [Exhibit or bundle page]

The “why it matters” column is crucial. It forces you to connect the event to the issue the court has to decide.

Step Eight: Match Evidence to Issues

This is where many litigants in person lose control of their case.

They have evidence, but it is not organised. They have screenshots, but no explanation. They have allegations, but no exhibit references. They have important documents, but they are buried in the wrong section of the bundle.

Evidence must be mapped.

For each issue, ask:

  • What am I saying happened?
  • What document proves or supports it?
  • Where is that document in the bundle?
  • How does it affect the child’s welfare?
  • What order does it support?

For example:

Issue Evidence Relevance Order Sought
Domestic abuse risk Police disclosure / messages / Cafcass report Supports risk assessment under PD12J No progression to unsupervised contact until risk is assessed
Contact history Contact logs / WhatsApp messages Shows whether contact has been promoted, refused or disrupted Structured contact plan

This is the difference between “I have evidence” and “I have a case”.

Step Nine: Prepare for the Other Side’s Case

Barristers do not prepare only their own argument. They prepare for the argument against them.

Litigants in person often avoid this because it feels uncomfortable. But it is essential.

You need to ask:

  • What will the other party say about me?
  • What documents will they rely on?
  • Where does my case look weak?
  • What explanation will the court expect from me?
  • What concessions should I realistically make?
  • What points should I not waste time fighting?

This is not about giving in. It is about being prepared.

A judge will usually be more assisted by a party who can acknowledge a weakness and explain it sensibly than by a party who denies everything and argues every minor point.

Credibility matters.

Step Ten: Write a Position Statement That Works

A position statement is not your life story.

It is a practical document to help the court understand:

  • who you are;
  • what hearing this is;
  • what orders you are asking for;
  • why you are asking for them;
  • what evidence supports your position;
  • what directions are needed next.

A strong position statement should usually include:

  1. Introduction: who you are and what the hearing is about.
  2. Current position: what has happened procedurally so far.
  3. Key issues: what the court needs to decide.
  4. Your position: what orders you seek.
  5. Reasons: why those orders are necessary.
  6. Evidence: brief references to the key documents.
  7. Directions sought: what you want the court to do next.

In family proceedings, it should also remain focused on the child’s welfare. Even where one parent has behaved appallingly, the court still needs the argument framed through welfare, risk and the child’s needs.

Step Eleven: Understand the Welfare Lens

In children cases, the court’s paramount consideration is the welfare of the child.

That means your argument needs to be presented through the child’s needs, not just your experience of the other parent.

For example, instead of saying:

“He has treated me terribly and should not get what he wants.”

It is usually stronger to say:

“The concern is that the pattern of behaviour evidenced in the messages and police material creates an unresolved risk to the child’s emotional and physical safety. Until that risk is assessed, it would not be in the child’s welfare interests for contact to progress beyond a safe and structured arrangement.”

That is the same concern, but presented in a way the court can work with.

Step Twelve: Make the Judge’s Job Easier

This may sound blunt, but it matters.

If your case is difficult to read, difficult to follow or difficult to understand, you are making it harder for the court to help you.

A judge should be able to identify quickly:

  • what the case is about;
  • what you are asking for;
  • what evidence matters;
  • what the other side says;
  • what decisions need to be made.

If the judge has to work too hard to find your point, the point may be missed.

This is why structure is not cosmetic.

Structure is advocacy.

Common Mistakes Litigants in Person Make

Some of the most common mistakes include:

  • filing statements that are too long and unfocused;
  • attaching screenshots without explaining their relevance;
  • including historic material that does not assist the current application;
  • using emotionally charged language instead of evidence-based wording;
  • failing to identify the exact order sought;
  • failing to comply with court directions;
  • missing deadlines;
  • arguing every point rather than the important points;
  • failing to prepare a proper chronology;
  • failing to anticipate what the other side will say;
  • confusing moral unfairness with legal relevance;
  • forgetting to frame the case through the child’s welfare.

These mistakes are understandable. But they are still damaging.

The Family Court Reality: Being Right Is Not Enough

This is difficult, but important.

You can be telling the truth and still present your case badly.

You can have strong evidence and still fail to organise it properly.

You can have genuine safeguarding concerns and still lose the thread because your documents are unclear.

You can be the protective parent and still struggle if your case is presented as anger rather than risk.

The court does not simply absorb your lived experience. You have to translate that experience into a structured legal case.

Being right is not enough. You must help the court see why you are right, where the evidence is, and what order should follow.

A Practical Barrister-Style Preparation Checklist

Before any hearing, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Can I explain my case in three sentences?
  • Can I identify the exact orders I am asking for?
  • Can I explain why those orders are in the child’s welfare interests?
  • Have I identified the key issues for the court?
  • Have I prepared a short chronology?
  • Have I removed irrelevant material?
  • Have I linked each allegation to evidence?
  • Have I checked the court order for deadlines?
  • Have I complied with the bundle requirements?
  • Have I prepared for what the other side will say?
  • Have I identified my weaknesses?
  • Have I prepared a concise position statement?
  • Have I focused on welfare rather than personal grievance?
  • Have I made clear what directions I need?
  • Have I checked whether PD12J, special measures or police disclosure are relevant?

If you cannot answer those questions, your case probably needs more preparation.

What This Means for Litigants in Person

The point is not that every litigant in person must become a barrister.

That is unrealistic.

The point is that litigants in person can learn from barrister-style preparation. They can become more organised. They can present their case more clearly. They can avoid overwhelming the court. They can focus on the issues that matter.

In family court, that can make a real difference.

It can affect whether the judge understands the risk. It can affect whether the right directions are made. It can affect whether the court sees the pattern rather than isolated incidents. It can affect whether a parent is viewed as child-focused and credible.

Preparation is not admin.

Preparation is protection.

How JSH Law Helps

JSH Law Ltd supports litigants in person with case preparation, litigation support and McKenzie Friend services.

We help clients turn disorganised material into structured, court-focused documents. This can include:

  • reviewing court orders and directions;
  • preparing chronologies;
  • organising evidence;
  • drafting position statements;
  • preparing issue-based summaries;
  • helping clients understand what the court is likely to focus on;
  • preparing hearing notes and practical hearing plans;
  • supporting litigants in person to present their case more clearly.

We do not pretend that family court is easy. It is not. But a case that is prepared properly is almost always in a stronger position than a case that is presented in panic.

The aim is simple: clarity, structure and strategy.

Final Thought

Barristers are trained to prepare cases in a disciplined way. They read the papers, identify the issues, build the argument, test the weaknesses and present the case with structure.

Litigants in person are often expected to navigate the same system without that training.

That is why preparation matters so much.

If you are representing yourself, do not walk into court hoping the judge will piece everything together for you. Prepare your case so the judge can see exactly what matters, why it matters and what order you are asking the court to make.

That is not just good organisation.

That is effective advocacy.

Related Reading

You may also find our article on coercive control, family court and post-separation abuse helpful if your case involves safeguarding, risk or allegations of domestic abuse.

You may also find our article on non-fatal strangulation and why family courts must treat it as a lethal risk warning useful where serious domestic abuse allegations are part of the evidence.

Useful External Sources

Need Help Preparing for Family Court?

JSH Law Ltd provides litigation support and McKenzie Friend services for litigants in person dealing with family court, child arrangements, safeguarding, domestic abuse, Cafcass reports, police disclosure, evidence organisation and hearing preparation.

If you need help organising your case, preparing a chronology, drafting a position statement, understanding the issues or presenting your evidence clearly, JSH Law can assist with practical litigation support.

A prepared case is usually stronger than a panicked case.

Contact JSH Law Ltd to discuss support with your case.

Regulatory & Editorial Notice

This article is published by JSH Law Ltd for general information and public legal education only. It is not legal advice and should not be relied upon as a substitute for advice from a qualified solicitor, barrister or other authorised legal professional about the facts of an individual case.

Every family court case turns on its own facts, evidence, procedural history, court directions and welfare considerations. If you are involved in proceedings, you should read all court orders carefully and seek appropriate legal advice where possible.

JSH Law Ltd provides litigation support and McKenzie Friend services to litigants in person. JSH Law Ltd is not authorised or regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority or any other approved legal services regulator. It does not conduct litigation, does not carry out reserved legal activities, and has no automatic right of audience. Where court attendance or advocacy support is requested, any right to address the court is subject to the court’s permission.

This article credits and discusses Christian Weaver’s publicly shared LinkedIn article, How to Prepare a Case: A Barrister’s Guide, for public-interest commentary and legal education. This JSH Law article is independently written for litigants in person and does not reproduce that article. Inclusion of a source does not imply endorsement by that author or organisation, nor endorsement of this article by them.